Confessions

For those of you looking for something steamy and "soap-opera-ish", (based on my title) keep searching. My life is anything but.

My first confession, I have to re-read my old posts to see what I have told ya'll already. Is that just silly or what? Is it because we have so much going on I cannot keep it straight, or that nothing is happening and I have to make sure I don't tell the same stories over and over?

Next, I have a new tattoo. It's my fourth. It's pretty cool; tribal-looking stars, three different sizes, on my right shoulder blade. My friends C and S and I thought it would be a great friendship/bonding moment. Silly, right? Don't most people do something "normal" like have a girls weekend somewhere fun, or lots of late night chats, or something else a little less painful? I love it though.

What else, I am really starting to feel the pressure about Mike leaving and wondering if we're having enough time together both as a family and as a couple. I never thought I'd go through this again, knowing that the first time around, this just added extra stress to our already stressful time together. But, here I am trying to prepare for this separation, knowing that I can't really prepare. It just needs to happen, I just need to pray, and trust in myself that I am strong enough and capable to go through it again. I'm worried about Ivie too. She is so in touch with her feelings and can communicate so well, I just don't know what to expect with her this time around. Do deployments ever get easier?

Also, I am already thinking about different things to do while Mike's deployed, but am feeling guilty about it. I'd love to visit with family and friends, and it's so much easier to do it not having to plan around his work schedule, but is it really fair while he's over there?

I drink way too much soda. I'm completely addicted to caffeine. I use caffeine to keep my migraines in check, but have a fine line between what's enough to keep them at bay and what's too much that will end up giving me an explosive migraine. Luckily I don't usually go overboard, but I still drink too much. I should drink more tea and water, they're much better for me.

I have decided to start working out regularly. My goals: exercise ball everyday, treadmill 3-5 times per week and the Bowflex 3 times per week. It seems like a lot to me right now, but I know that if I just do it, rather than talk about it, it'll become a great part of my routine.

And finally, I am excited when I get to keep the car for the day, although it makes me sad to think it only happens when Mike's out training and I won't see him for a while. We don't want two car payments, so I won't have my own vehicle until our car is paid off (Jan 2009). And, I have to admit, I am seriously looking into purchasing a minivan, a Kia. I affectionately refer to the Sedona as the poor man's Odyssey. I never thought I'd be want a minivan, let alone actually admit to to anyone, but I've gotta tell ya' between children, pets and travelling all around the US for work/vacations, a van is very appealing.

Well, 0600 is going to come a lot sooner than I'd like, and to keep with my new workout goals, I really should head to bed so I'll get up and walk/run in the morning.