I've been racking my brain for a while now trying to come up with something cool and exciting to type here. I still can't think of anything, but decided I'd bring y'all up to speed and just maybe, something witty or intelligent would flow through my fingers (no promises though).
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mostly because I had nothing to do with any cooking this year. I really am not a bad cook, when I'm cooking what I know. But Thanksgiving dinner is oh so intimidating and all my past failures just add to that. My gramma and grampa came here for the week, arriving Sunday and leaving Friday. Gramma made an entire Thanksgiving dinner completely Gluten Free! She did make 2 stuffing's, but thankfully one was GF. I learned her secret of how she manages to cook a delicious spread and not loose her mind: it takes her all week! Sure that sounds simple enough: bake squash Monday, stuffing Tuesday, pies Wednesday, Turkey and Mashed potatoes on Thursday. For whatever reason, my brain never thought of simplifying the ordeal like that, I've always felt the pressure to prepare and make everything on the actual day. Needless to say I truly enjoyed watching my gramma at work and appreciate her sharing her yummy secrets with me. I do have to admit, though, some secrets I'd rather not know; like the one about her spaghetti sauce, and that it actually comes from a can with a few extras thrown in there. I was 27 years old and just had my second child when the secret was spoiled. I was heartbroken. Seriously. I was lied to for 27 years about her spaghetti sauce. To "comfort" me, she told me about the time my aunt discovered her yummy pumpkin pie recipe could actually be found on the back of Libby's can 'o pumpkin (and no, my gramma is not Libby). That didn't help because I, too, believed her pumpkin pie was some secret family tradition. But, I'm a grown women now and realize that even my gramma, the epitome of the stereotypical 50's housewife, could take the occasional shortcut in the kitchen.
We celebrated Christmas with gramma and grampa and boy, did the girls enjoy that. I tell ya' Christmas keeps getting better as the wee ones get bigger. Watching them fill with excitement at neatly wrapped gifts under the little trees, them tearing into their packages with gusto, and how their little faces light with such excitement at their Hannah Barbie or Dora Doll. After that comes the fighting over who's doll I can take out of the packing first, but that's ok, it's still pretty cute.
Mike's definitely ready to come home. Unfortunately, he can't for a few more months. Things have changed quite a bit for him and he's not working well over 12 hours a day. Something like on 6 off 2. I have heard from him a bit more over the past week or so, but he always sounds like he's sleep talking. I appreciate his effort though. He's having an even harder time dealing with the thought of moving and selling our home and missing Thanksgiving, Ivie's birthday, and Christmas. I thought that maybe he was getting a little better with it all, but it seems to have hit him hard the past few days. He's angry, frustrated, sad and overwhelmed. He definitely needs some prayers and thoughts. It's made for some rough conversations and me trying hard to talk past all that, but it's hard for me to let his anger just roll off me. Sometimes I feel like he resents me for being able to be here, like it's my fault he has to be away; if it weren't for me and the wee ones, he wouldn't have to be doing this. He assures me this isn't the case, but it's hard for me not to feel so insecure about him missing so much. I remind myself we were called to be here. We prayed and asked, God answered, and we obeyed. It just seems a lot easier for me to be so trusting than for Mike.
I'm continuing on my roller coaster of emotions, but feel like I'm doing better overall. We're quickly approaching Ivie's birthday and that will be my next hurdle. I am still dumbfounded at the thought of her being 4! I am really looking forward to her big day; to her party, celebrating with our friends, and her very special birthday gift from gramma G and grampa J. She doesn't know what it is yet, but she'll be blown away to find her first American Girl underneath the beautiful red wrapping paper and perfectly tied white bow.
That pretty much sums things up for now. I'll be sure to let you know how the Big Girl birthday party goes on Saturday.
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