Looking ahead

I don't know about ya'll, but I am one that tries to always look forward in life; excited to see what lies ahead for us, wondering what our girls will be like when they're grown, where the Army will move us next, where we'll end up after Mike's retired, etc. It's kinda scary too, but mostly exciting. I try not to live in the past, not much I can do about any of it and frankly, not too much of it I want to revisit. But, there is a time I wish I could go back.
Before Mike had enlisted, I had been reintroduced to a woman that had attended my church and youth group back in Flint. I had looked up to her and thought she was pretty cool. She is a few years older, and back when I was in the Jr High Youth Group, I wanted nothing more than to hang out with her and her other friends from church. She had married and has a beautiful little boy (now has two) and was teaching and living in Lansing, not too far from where we lived. After talking with her, she invited me to her church and to their Home Group. I met some truly wonderful people through her, and we have all since dispersed, literally, throughout the U.S. Back then, I had some major issues I was struggling with, and just never allowed myself to fully befriend any of them. Yes, we were friends in Christ, and met together on Sundays and enjoyed some wonderfully meaningful conversations and Bible Studies, but I didn't really move beyond that.
I have a couple (literally) of good friends now, but I truly miss what relationships I had with those back in MI, and am sad that I never allowed myself to fully open up to them. A couple of them have blogs I read and feel "in the loop", but wish I could share with them all on a more personal level. I miss them, truly I do. I know that I held back; I wasn't comfortable with myself or my past to just put myself out there and make a few great friends.
I rarely look back to my High School years, and when I do, I certainly do not wish to repeat them, except for Marching Band. If I could have spent my four years of High School only in Marching Band I would, and I'd do the same today!! But I do look back at my time with them and wonder how I could have done things differently to have grown stronger relationships with them, and wish I did.
As I sit here tonight and catch up on their blogs, I am so happy for them and where they are in life. I'm not too up to date about the other two couples, but do know where they and hope all is well with them.
As I think about what I have to look forward to in this upcoming week, month, and year, I can only hope that somewhere, somehow, we'll meet up again. My love goes out to them all!